Much trouble has been caused by my inability to be normal. In the past, I have had a laundry list of people and reasons to blame. Though, I am here today, unable to pinpoint a reason why I have kept the insanity alive. I have everything I've been fundamentally missing. Yet, I am holding onto the feeling that I don't.
Sure, I could entertain my sneaking suspicion that I'm so used to being shat on, therefor I am having trouble adjusting to the concept of a shit-free life...
But that's a lazy excuse, and I'm smarter than that. However used to having a reason to cry and be upset I am, it's time I pull on my big girl pants and move on.
I need to stop expecting (and subsequently looking for) terrible things. At this point, the only thing I have to pull myself down is me. STOP IT, silly girl!
I have not mere pieces of the life I dreamed, but the entire thing. The ability to love and receive love from every. single. person. I am related to. I know that my father is aware of my existence and I speak to him on a semi-regular basis. I am able to appreciate my mother for all the positive things about her and let go of the negative.
I have the exact epitome of everything I ever wanted in a significant other, in my amazing boyfriend. Even when I'm furiously irate with him, his mannerisms impress me.
His ability to live with this crazy lunatic is admirable and astounding. He is more forgiving of me than I am.

I now realize that what was once my justified hatred of the way things go has now become a crippling hindrance to my LIVING the life I've hoped I'd eventually have.
And I walk around expecting myself to fail miserably at school...
To be called to my boss' office and be fired any day now...

I sell myself short. I have already done an incredibly difficult thing: I have attracted the things in life that were so crucial to my happiness.
Now let's show them all we really want it, and appreciate every single second of it.
Shall we?