the Best Mariangela

Moving to Canada

2012-01-20T06:16:00.000-08:00

Before We Get There:
Sponsoring Chris
http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/immigrate/sponsor/index.asp

After We Get There:
BC Identification
http://www.icbc.com/driver-licensing/BCID
Health Care
http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/newcomers/after-health.asp

The old bait and switch.

2011-12-30T20:14:00.000-08:00

It's a dead thing. Or so it seems to be headed. Different people? What do I do? I can't get through to you. I can't make sense to you. I just want to be closer to you. Why don't you care what I think? Like we used to be. Why can't I have that back? Nothing seems to matter anymore. You go to bed early. Without me. You wake up early. Without me. I don't know how to appreciate that when it separates us.
When we first met, you were all about me and I was all about you. We were on the same page. We both had interest in the inner workings of the other. Now it's a foreign thing that I don't know how to handle. The fighting. I don't want it. But I feel insignificant. When you are so significant to me. And I feel like you are unwilling to try to level with me.
Incredibly discouraged.
What are we to do?
It is not in me to adjust in the ways you seem to want. I am not a loner. I can NOT spend so much time alone with my thoughts. They drive me crazy. That's why time alone with you preoccupied by something else is no time with you at all, for me. Starve me of what I need then tell me I should've never been hungry for it in the first place? That's not fair. And that's not me.
I feel teased. Lured. Provoked.
I love you to pieces. But something has GOT to change. I can't keep suppressing myself for you.

A whole new can of worms.

2011-12-29T09:44:00.000-08:00

When you whine about being depressed, I shed light on solutions or sources, and you procede to argue how you're depressed and are going to remain depressed and nothing to be done about it... you are annoying and I will continue to bring up valid arguements against woe-is-me and defend the mere fact that I am right. Your feeling sorry for yourself does not allow you to tell me I'm wrong.
Cling to your bad mood. Nothing wrong with that. Everyone's entitled to one every once in a while... but don't drag it on and on day to day and be a buzz-kill for the rest of the world. Everyone has fucking bullshit SOMEWHERE in their lives. Life is never perfect, but why waste every single moment of it being purposefully unhappy? Once you start asking yourself that question, things should start making more sense. Life is going to happen whether we like it or not. Evolve and allow yourself to be happy in the midst of it. :)

2011-12-28T14:30:00.000-08:00

I don't know if I'm just being hormonal or if there is any merit to being .....well... Just sad, right now. Not off-the-deep-end-depressed. Just sad. Like I could cry, if I wanted to. IM'd my mom earlier and got on a whole big issue. I should've kept my mouth shut. It's impossible to explain something to someone who only knows how to communicate from their side. Don't know why I bother. I pretty much have it coming.

I'm sleepy. I'm moody. Not pregnant. Thank god, but at least then I would have a reason for this nonsense. Guys like to joke, as if it's some kind of thing girls enjoy doing. Umm...NO! We like our sanity. We like being logical. Things are easier and happier when we are. But nature designed us to be more complex than that, so that we can provide the nurturing our offspring would require. Nature, perhaps, got it right. Men can be quite simple and call themselves complicated. The ones who won't admit their stupidity are usually the STUPID ones.

Sorry... I'm not trying to go on a man-bashing tirade. I'm just a victim of what I am accused. It just really sucks when you can see yourself from the outside and know how silly you're being when you are and not really have much control over what comes out of your mouth (or eyes) until it already is.

Well my dogs just jumped up on me, making it incredibly difficult to type, confirming that I surely have some terminal illness and they're just trying to comfort me through it. Lol. They sure are sweet.

I are trendy!

2011-12-27T19:06:00.000-08:00

Well, well, well. Look at me, posting from my brand spankin' new iPad. :D

Unforch the blogger app in the apple app store is merely the mobile app. Bleh. I are not impressed.

I am, however, impressed by the spell correction on this thing. No matter the retardation, it seems to be able to decipher what I'm butchering.

I am le tired. Perhaps later I shall share some pearls of wisdom. I got nothin right now. The most interesting thing I did tonight was paint my nails purple.

Later world! :)

P.S. Does anyone read this thing anymore?! Methinks not.

2011-10-11T15:44:00.001-07:00

Much trouble has been caused by my inability to be normal. In the past, I have had a laundry list of people and reasons to blame. Though, I am here today, unable to pinpoint a reason why I have kept the insanity alive. I have everything I've been fundamentally missing. Yet, I am holding onto the feeling that I don't.
Sure, I could entertain my sneaking suspicion that I'm so used to being shat on, therefor I am having trouble adjusting to the concept of a shit-free life...
But that's a lazy excuse, and I'm smarter than that. However used to having a reason to cry and be upset I am, it's time I pull on my big girl pants and move on.
I need to stop expecting (and subsequently looking for) terrible things. At this point, the only thing I have to pull myself down is me. STOP IT, silly girl!
I have not mere pieces of the life I dreamed, but the entire thing. The ability to love and receive love from every. single. person. I am related to. I know that my father is aware of my existence and I speak to him on a semi-regular basis. I am able to appreciate my mother for all the positive things about her and let go of the negative.
I have the exact epitome of everything I ever wanted in a significant other, in my amazing boyfriend. Even when I'm furiously irate with him, his mannerisms impress me.
His ability to live with this crazy lunatic is admirable and astounding. He is more forgiving of me than I am.

I now realize that what was once my justified hatred of the way things go has now become a crippling hindrance to my LIVING the life I've hoped I'd eventually have.
And I walk around expecting myself to fail miserably at school...
To be called to my boss' office and be fired any day now...

I sell myself short. I have already done an incredibly difficult thing: I have attracted the things in life that were so crucial to my happiness.
Now let's show them all we really want it, and appreciate every single second of it.
Shall we?

"If you lived here, you'd be home by now."

2011-07-06T19:14:00.000-07:00

That is what I think every time I pass our future apartment. Only a matter of hours left.

I needs.

2011-01-30T21:38:00.000-08:00

Its quite simple. I need need a better camera.

I take some with my digital camera here and some with my Samsung Epic there. But none will suffice, if they are not meant to take great pictures.

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy

2010-07-21T06:41:00.000-07:00

Love love LOVE this post! :D

I rode my bike to work this morning.

The random things that pop into your head on a bike > stressing about the day ahead in a car.

I feel alive.

Must remember to take pics on the way.

I want to do this, everyday.

Today was slow.

Monkey was my only company at work. I'm debating whether or not that's a bad thing.

I closed my icky Bank of America accounts today. Yesssss. That place is nothing but fees, so I washed my hands of them. Ta ta! My goal is to, one day, be free of this debt. I want to get super simple. I never understood why some people always use cash and are so against debit/credit cards and banks. Figured they were just old and paranoid and it wasn't really that big a deal.

Now I know better. Simplicity is the way to go. No debt, no worries. Credit companies are full of crap. I'm so glad I realized it now before I had the chance to get too far in. So, once I'm all paid up with my credit card and school loans, goodbye credit BS. No more.

I want to live out in the middle of nowhere. Living off the land.

Free.

At the moment, I am sitting in my sister's living room, half-way babysitting my nephew with my mother. Life is better than ever. I can't remember a time I was this happy since I was a kid.

Slacker Radio continues to play ads and give headline news that I couldn't care less about. I haven't had cable for the better part of a year and I rather prefer it that way.

I am getting quite in touch with my surroundings. Getting a feel for where I live and smelling the roses a lot instead of living vicariously through TV and what's going on in the entertainment world... well... okay, I'll admit I get my gossip fix via PinkIsTheNewBlog, but that's only on weekdays. At work. When there's nothing better to do.

Yesterday, a lady patient told me I look like I've lost 15 lbs. "What does 15lbs look like, exactly?" I wondered. Yet her compliment just made my mood even better.

Commuting by bike is really one of the all-around best things I've ever done, I think.

You should do it, too! ;)

Homecoming

2010-07-18T22:56:00.000-07:00

So, today I returned from my sleepover of sorts at my sister's house. I had no idea how addicted I am to the internet until I was without. Now, don't get me wrong. I am all for not relying on technology and wish the world would take a more do-it-yourself type turn, but Google is one thing I believe greatly benefits everyone. Google is fantastic. Google is amazing... and while I was at my sister's house, I almost went insane with frustration from being unable to use it the 4 or 5 times, at least, that I had the urge to use it. Is it bad that I almost went home (40+ minutes away) merely to Google? Probably.

Anywho..

While I was there, I took full advantage of her super awesome, amazing camera. You know, the one that takes pictures that look like mine AFTER I photoshop them?

Here is my astonishingly smart niece Gloria who was kind enough to amuse my attempt at photography.

How am I doing, so far?

And my nephew, Draven, looking FAR more calm than is usual for him. :P

My beautiful sister, Larisa.

And her son, one of the sweetest little boys in the world, Gavin

I have a handful of pictures of him getting all excited from the flash of the camera. So sweet.

& my sister's budding flowers. I'm sure she'll be taking more of them post-bloom.

As my "About Me" section states, I have been OBSESSED with "homeying" up this house. It needs a little personality. Hopefully, if I ever acquire the means to do so, it will be a fairly simple task given that we share the house with three other roommates. For that reason, I'm not so much interested in the inside of the house.

My vision isn't quite OUR backyard in its current state, but anything is better than nothing. I am dying to get a nice cushy outdoor furniture set and fire pit.

With the fall creeping up, I can't help but imagine how great it would be to have that set up on the deck. With some nice hanging lights and maybe tiki torches? That's all I ask!

Well, one day. Here or some place else, I WILL have that.

Chris is probably tired of hearing about it, hehe. Well, that and my taking pictures of

almost anything that crossed my path tonight.

Including our noms..

in all their tasty glory.

He got home in the middle of my first post. I almost feel bad for being to distracted to give him a proper welcome home after not seeing him for an uncommonly long time (a little over 24 hours) for us.

We were going to go on a bike ride, as we have the past few days. But the mean old clouds rolled in

and dashed any hopes of that. They did, however, make for some pretty cool pictures if I may say so myself.

& thus concludes this post.

Goodnight, happy world. :)

Day One

2010-07-18T13:29:00.001-07:00

So it begins.

I sit here with my glass o' wine, itching to begin this brand spankin' new blog. First off, I must admit, this is a bit of a copy-cat act. I recently came upon a now much admired blog that is responsible for this new born need to document my life in such ways.

Not that I flatter myself to assume this will be in any way as awesome as hers, but I shall try...

Now, let me tell you a little bit about myself:

Nostalgia

2010-07-17T14:56:00.000-07:00

nostalgia.

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archives.

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Credit

2010-07-17T14:45:00.000-07:00

About me

2010-07-17T14:44:00.000-07:00

My name is Mariangela.

Pronounced as it is spelled, "Mary"+"Angela" without pausing in between, inappropriately meaning "bitter angel". It is an Italian name, so says Google, yet my mother took it from a song I have never heard.

I was born twenty-four years ago in San Antonio, Texas, the youngest of three daughters and four sons. After a few trips back and forth to Columbia, South America, my family moved to Montreal, Canada. My family moved a couple times within Montreal during the next six years. When I was 6, my parents ended their marriage, landing my mother, one of my brothers and myself in a cozy, little, fifth floor apartment in Ottawa, Ontario.

One of my fondest memories is of life in Ottawa. Everything we needed was within walking distance. For anything else, we rode our bikes or took the bus. It was a time of adventures in my child mind. I had swimming lessons in the summer and ice skating lessons in the winter. Twice there, I saw a hot air balloon up close: once gliding over the backyard of my mother's friend's house, and again while riding our bikes through a park. After about a year, we made our big move down to Simpsonville, South Carolina where my eldest brother lived.

Up until then, I was home-schooled by my mother (very well I might add - I was reading by the age of three). But, with this new territory came my first public school experience. I remember taking a placement test and being place in third grade, a year ahead for my age. Life was pretty average for a while. My mother worked at a Holiday Inn; I would get to go with her on the weekends, have a sugary kid’s breakfast, and watch all the cartoons, Gilligan's Island, and I Love Lucy my attention span would permit.

Then came middle school. I went to a magnet school for the arts, a little farther away in Greenville. The bus ride was long but it was there I began playing the violin. I miss playing, terribly.

In 1999, my siblings all grown up, my mother decided it was time for yet another change of scenery. So, she and I packed up the truck and made a four-day drive to San Bernardino, California where we lived for a year and a half until one of my sisters gave us news that my first nephew was on the way. That was reason enough for my mother to return us to the east, twenty minutes south of Atlanta, Georgia, where the majority of our family lived.

On Tuesday, February 5, 2002, my family welcomed the first of its next generation. I was the happiest I'd ever been. Not too long after, my sister and her husband moved north to Marietta. Of course, my mother and I followed.
After I turned 18, I began my attempt to venture out on my own, somewhat. Bouncing from another sister's apartment to a good friend's house until getting an apartment with another good friend then ending up back at home, as the story often goes, because I bit off more than I could chew.

I was eventually hired, in December of 2008, by Wellstar Health System to check patients in full-time at one of their family practices. Fall of 2010 I finally got back to school and am still.

I am currently in pursuit of a bachelor's degree in Health and Fitness Science in order to be accepted into a massage therapy school. My ultimate goal is to be accepted by Emory University, but in the family from which I come that's far-fetched. I am trying my very,very best not to be a self-fulfilling prophet of my own doom - as well as to stop saying that I'm trying, when I am a firm believer that "trying" is having the intent to fail - and reach for the stars because I definitely have the will to grab them.

I have a wonderful life with the love of my life: my boyfriend of two years.
I like things that make me laugh. Silly things, usually coming from my own mouth, crack me up the most. Call me a dork - I laugh the most at the cheesy jokes I myself make. I appreciate the ability to not take life too seriously and laugh at myself. :)

....I cannot leave out our sweet, sometimes naughty baby boy

Orion.